I LOVE YOU DEAN... mmmmmmmmmmwaaahhhhhhhh!

I just wanna share, naalala ko lang nung nag-enroll ako for nursing school. Hehe.. I took an entrance examination in one of a good school (with ISO chorva..) in Pasay. I passed the exam so I went on the interview. My gush, as in gush of blood in head… the Dean is asking so many things about my sexual orientation. She’s a homophobic. She gave me situations like what if the patient finds out that I’m gay then he’ll reject all of the nursing care that I will do?? What if a guy doesn’t want me to do the catheterization for him? What would I do daw? Eh di sabi ko, I’ll explain to the patient that I’m just doing my job as a nurse but if he really doesn’t want me to do that pagsosonda to him then eh di wag, iba na lang ang gagawa. I got out of that stupid question. She again asked me if I’m really that loud like the other queers out there. Sabi pa niya baka pagdating ng araw eh makita niya akong ngtatakbo at nagsisigaw sa hallway ng school na naka-scarf pa. Oh how stupid her questions. I got out of the room as if like I’m really murdered, had this emotional baggage, as if like I was harassed by her words. She gave me a piece of paper, written there was this, “Homosexual tendencies.” I was really ashamed of myself, I was really quiet. I was with my friend then, we both passed the entrance exam. Right after that incident, I paid for my tuition fee, paid for my ID and went home. I was really depressed because the drive for me to study in that school has been torn into pieces. Like pira-pirasong pangarap. I was really depressed; I was unable to sleep for three nights then. Two things were running on my mind, withdraw my credentials and the tuition fee and transfer to the other school wherein I also passed their entrance examination for the same course. The next day, I went to the ISO certified (daw) school and took back my credentials, also my tuition fee. Of course they asked what the reason why I’m backing off is. I just wrote these following reasons: 1. the school is very far from my home 2. I have also passed the entrance examination in a school nearer to our area of residence 3. *I’m being rejected here, your Dean hates me and I hate her too. I just wanna get even.* I should have written those lines. Haha.. I promised myself to study hard and I graduated BS Nursing with flying colors… now I’m also a Registered Nurse. I really want to see the Dean and tell her what she did to me, just for her to realize. I know she’s already old and suffering the karma for her acts against me. I wasn’t scared to enter their school but I felt like I was rejected, it really feels bad to be rejected by anyone, what is more shocking is that I know and for sure, things like this happens everyday. I thought the school is pillared by Christian values; I am not talking generic here, and maybe the person who, herself sitting on her comfy chair inside her office has no values… the old lady who tried to put me down and she succeeded. You think she was just giving me a challenge? I doubt. That was not challenging for me, the challenge was for me to graduate nursing school not to live a life under her doom… and be doomed. I was rejected in the first place, and when it comes to rejection I accept it easily and with no contest, I’m the rejected. It’s always like that. Honestly, I’m still haunted by this incident, a big turning point of my life. I eluded her, I escaped from her grim way of treating people like us. She could have given me options. “Homosexual tendencies.” I don’t have tendencies, I’m gay… it is true. My family knows it, everyone knows it.

Dean, I admire you so much. I hope, now or someday you will realize that you have hurt people like me, well if you’re not yet demented or somehow if ever you’re already demented you will remember me in your demented world. I have forgiven you already, and I know it would even make me feel happy if I share this thing to other people.. I just want to tell you also that I’ve tried to catheterize a guy, he never complained Dean. The patient was on coma. I had patients who were really goodlooking, I’ve got crush on them pa nga eh but still, I’m a professional now so no time to flirt with them, and Dean, no one has ever complained about my nursing care, a guy even called me for a date, but he was not the patient, the “watcher”. Just kidding. If there’s only a homophobia vaccine, I could have given you a shot. Just be happy Dean, ah ah, if there would be a gay guy that you will meet, give him a booty call. I wonder if Dean’s still single or Dean’s sons are straights, unless they are all girls… they can still be gay.. dykes! J