by Oliver Pulumbarit
Inquirer
Last updated 05:07pm (Mla time) 08/18/2006
WORDS HURT EVEN worse than sticks and stones, sometimes.
We discover their power early on, and the fact that school is a battlefield where taunts, insults and threats are practically an evolving art form. Usually, the most hurtful ones are aimed at those who don’t conform to the majority’s definition of “normal.” Bakla, bading, binabae, syoke… they can be hurled with utmost force and fierceness by schoolmates, relatives, and even teachers and other authority figures.
Those who know they’re gay feel like nobody will ever understand them. They’re lucky if they have parents or friends who do. If not, chances are, they’re forced to blend in, because it is school, after all, and denying several years worth of self-hate, shame and guilt may feel preferable over enduring verbal ridicule, or physical injury, or both, on a daily basis. Society has no place, we’re told and taught as youngsters, for those who aren’t macho, or religious, or upholders of “tradition.”
In this day and age, there are still gay kids and adults suffering the same savage bullying and intolerance, regardless of their nationality, race, or religious affiliation. It’s always painful to read about the circumstances surrounding the deaths of hate crime victims Matthew Shepard and Brandon Teena, or those who’ve committed suicide because they felt that they could never fit in. It’s hard not to shed a tear while hearing stories of people suffering unbelievable humiliation because of their sexual preference. It’s frightening to think that, yes, it could’ve been you. Or your lover, friend, mom, dad, sibling, teacher, doctor, priest, lawyer, employer, even your favorite movie star.
Ideology of evil
Gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered people are still being demonized by the supposedly educated guardians of morality. It’s especially infuriating when anti-gay sentiments directly come from recognized religious leaders. Almost five years ago, Rev. Jerry Falwell irresponsibly declared on “The 700 Club” that the 9/11 terrorist attacks were God’s way of punishing their country. He lambasted his perceived culprits, people “who have tried to secularize America,” among them “gays and lesbians who are actively trying to make that an alternative lifestyle.” Pat Robertson, not surprisingly, agreed. You just have to wonder how they can be so judgmental and capable of spewing such vitriol, when their faith is supposed to be based on tolerance and understanding. It’s actually dangerous when influential figures condemn unthinkingly and with impunity, because, let’s face it, their words are canon. It’s truly bizarre then, that the late Pope John Paul II and his successor Pope Benedict have both openly spoken against gay people and unions repeatedly, too. Does God really consider homosexual relationships an “ideology of evil,” and “weak”? Isn’t the deity supposed to be unconditionally gender-blind and more informed than that?
So many haters are eager to stereotype them, eager to warn others of their “unnatural” tendencies, eager to announce that they’re all hell-bound. In this country, there are still companies that refuse to hire qualified gay persons. Cross-dressers are often heckled by janitors in comfort rooms, or are barred from certain establishments. A friend’s homophobic co-worker commented last year that the devastation caused by Hurricane Katrina was punishment for “the numerous homosexuals” in New Orleans. Wow. Talk about having mixed-up issues! When your sexuality or gender identity, an integral part of your being, is devalued or despised by someone else, whoever that may be, then speak up. Don’t be afraid. Don’t offer the other cheek. Call other people’s attention to it. It is a big deal.
Alan Moore’s “V for Vendetta” depicted a world where subversives and minorities were hatefully rounded up, including those whom the fascist government in that story considered sexual deviants. Prisoners were subjected to harrowing medical experiments and other indignities. Only about six decades back, in the real world, that has actually happened in Nazi concentration camps, to gay men, who had to wear identifying pink triangle badges. Today, same-gender relationships in parts of the world are still taboo; even consenting adults are actively arrested for it and subjected to unnecessary shaming. While we have pride parties for gays, certain countries have prison sentences for them.
If you are a gay person and you haven’t done so already, speak up and keep making your horror to such injustices known. You don’t have to out yourself if you feel that it’s an inconvenient time, but try to reach out to others who can speak for you. It is very fortunate and important that there are active gay advocacy groups in the Philippines now such as ProGay, Ang Ladlad, The Library Foundation, LAGABLAB, and several other tireless organizations that continue to fight for various GLBT rights, and are working for the passage of a bill that would criminalize discrimination. The Rainbow Rights Project, a group of lawyers and activists, is distributing free “Pink Cards,” which lists your rights as a bar patron, and related info that can protect you from corrupt or fake law enforcers. Arm yourself with knowledge. Google these groups, learn from them and support them.
Be proud
And if someone cites some verses from Leviticus to condemn you (like a politician did in a local debate show just two years ago), respond by saying that he or she is deliberately ignoring sexist and barbaric customs in nearby passages. Look them up. They’re there.
It’s also very important to love yourself. Be proud that you are truthful, free, and aren’t doing anyone harm.
To parents who think that this is none of their concern, please think again. If you suspect that your children may be suffering in silence, talk to them. Go beyond what your elders taught you. Your child can be gay, or not gay, regardless if he or she is acting effeminately or in a masculine manner. Face your fears and understand them, and assure them that you will be willing to listen. Gayness is not a disease or a condition that can be “cured.”
The reality of it is, unbeknownst to you, your teen son or daughter may be involved with someone for months or years already, and they have plans to start their own family one day. They may be hoping their union will be recognized without question in the future, with benefits that straight spouses enjoy. Yes, homosexual relationships aren’t destructive, as imagined by those who are narrow-minded and insecure about the matter.
Role model
If your gay child wishes to be the next Isaac Mizrahi--or the next Ellen DeGeneres, Q. Allan Brocka, Rustom Padilla, RuPaul, Andoy Ranay, Allan Heinberg, Aiza Seguerra, Bruce Vilanch, Rosie O’Donnell, Rufus Wainwright, Bryan Singer, Manuel Quezon III, Ricky Reyes, Melissa Etheridge, Darren Hayes, Clive Barker--applaud him! Your kid chose a role model well, and shows fortitude and honesty at an early age. Good gay people, just like good straight people, have been, and will always be challenged to think around the conventional and traditional to survive and make the world better.
It is elating and empowering that there are many people who are now more accepting of differences, and are celebrating the gay spectrum’s contributions to all parts of culture. It’s also great that gay people are acknowledging their identities, and not just at gay-friendly and gay-frequented districts. But it doesn’t end there. Let’s continue to speak against the bitter, dinosaur gay-bashers. Let’s use our words and actions to rescue, heal, and enlighten others before damaging words lead, once again, to sticks, stones, and worse.
Inquirer
Last updated 05:07pm (Mla time) 08/18/2006
WORDS HURT EVEN worse than sticks and stones, sometimes.
We discover their power early on, and the fact that school is a battlefield where taunts, insults and threats are practically an evolving art form. Usually, the most hurtful ones are aimed at those who don’t conform to the majority’s definition of “normal.” Bakla, bading, binabae, syoke… they can be hurled with utmost force and fierceness by schoolmates, relatives, and even teachers and other authority figures.
Those who know they’re gay feel like nobody will ever understand them. They’re lucky if they have parents or friends who do. If not, chances are, they’re forced to blend in, because it is school, after all, and denying several years worth of self-hate, shame and guilt may feel preferable over enduring verbal ridicule, or physical injury, or both, on a daily basis. Society has no place, we’re told and taught as youngsters, for those who aren’t macho, or religious, or upholders of “tradition.”
In this day and age, there are still gay kids and adults suffering the same savage bullying and intolerance, regardless of their nationality, race, or religious affiliation. It’s always painful to read about the circumstances surrounding the deaths of hate crime victims Matthew Shepard and Brandon Teena, or those who’ve committed suicide because they felt that they could never fit in. It’s hard not to shed a tear while hearing stories of people suffering unbelievable humiliation because of their sexual preference. It’s frightening to think that, yes, it could’ve been you. Or your lover, friend, mom, dad, sibling, teacher, doctor, priest, lawyer, employer, even your favorite movie star.
Ideology of evil
Gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered people are still being demonized by the supposedly educated guardians of morality. It’s especially infuriating when anti-gay sentiments directly come from recognized religious leaders. Almost five years ago, Rev. Jerry Falwell irresponsibly declared on “The 700 Club” that the 9/11 terrorist attacks were God’s way of punishing their country. He lambasted his perceived culprits, people “who have tried to secularize America,” among them “gays and lesbians who are actively trying to make that an alternative lifestyle.” Pat Robertson, not surprisingly, agreed. You just have to wonder how they can be so judgmental and capable of spewing such vitriol, when their faith is supposed to be based on tolerance and understanding. It’s actually dangerous when influential figures condemn unthinkingly and with impunity, because, let’s face it, their words are canon. It’s truly bizarre then, that the late Pope John Paul II and his successor Pope Benedict have both openly spoken against gay people and unions repeatedly, too. Does God really consider homosexual relationships an “ideology of evil,” and “weak”? Isn’t the deity supposed to be unconditionally gender-blind and more informed than that?
So many haters are eager to stereotype them, eager to warn others of their “unnatural” tendencies, eager to announce that they’re all hell-bound. In this country, there are still companies that refuse to hire qualified gay persons. Cross-dressers are often heckled by janitors in comfort rooms, or are barred from certain establishments. A friend’s homophobic co-worker commented last year that the devastation caused by Hurricane Katrina was punishment for “the numerous homosexuals” in New Orleans. Wow. Talk about having mixed-up issues! When your sexuality or gender identity, an integral part of your being, is devalued or despised by someone else, whoever that may be, then speak up. Don’t be afraid. Don’t offer the other cheek. Call other people’s attention to it. It is a big deal.
Alan Moore’s “V for Vendetta” depicted a world where subversives and minorities were hatefully rounded up, including those whom the fascist government in that story considered sexual deviants. Prisoners were subjected to harrowing medical experiments and other indignities. Only about six decades back, in the real world, that has actually happened in Nazi concentration camps, to gay men, who had to wear identifying pink triangle badges. Today, same-gender relationships in parts of the world are still taboo; even consenting adults are actively arrested for it and subjected to unnecessary shaming. While we have pride parties for gays, certain countries have prison sentences for them.
If you are a gay person and you haven’t done so already, speak up and keep making your horror to such injustices known. You don’t have to out yourself if you feel that it’s an inconvenient time, but try to reach out to others who can speak for you. It is very fortunate and important that there are active gay advocacy groups in the Philippines now such as ProGay, Ang Ladlad, The Library Foundation, LAGABLAB, and several other tireless organizations that continue to fight for various GLBT rights, and are working for the passage of a bill that would criminalize discrimination. The Rainbow Rights Project, a group of lawyers and activists, is distributing free “Pink Cards,” which lists your rights as a bar patron, and related info that can protect you from corrupt or fake law enforcers. Arm yourself with knowledge. Google these groups, learn from them and support them.
Be proud
And if someone cites some verses from Leviticus to condemn you (like a politician did in a local debate show just two years ago), respond by saying that he or she is deliberately ignoring sexist and barbaric customs in nearby passages. Look them up. They’re there.
It’s also very important to love yourself. Be proud that you are truthful, free, and aren’t doing anyone harm.
To parents who think that this is none of their concern, please think again. If you suspect that your children may be suffering in silence, talk to them. Go beyond what your elders taught you. Your child can be gay, or not gay, regardless if he or she is acting effeminately or in a masculine manner. Face your fears and understand them, and assure them that you will be willing to listen. Gayness is not a disease or a condition that can be “cured.”
The reality of it is, unbeknownst to you, your teen son or daughter may be involved with someone for months or years already, and they have plans to start their own family one day. They may be hoping their union will be recognized without question in the future, with benefits that straight spouses enjoy. Yes, homosexual relationships aren’t destructive, as imagined by those who are narrow-minded and insecure about the matter.
Role model
If your gay child wishes to be the next Isaac Mizrahi--or the next Ellen DeGeneres, Q. Allan Brocka, Rustom Padilla, RuPaul, Andoy Ranay, Allan Heinberg, Aiza Seguerra, Bruce Vilanch, Rosie O’Donnell, Rufus Wainwright, Bryan Singer, Manuel Quezon III, Ricky Reyes, Melissa Etheridge, Darren Hayes, Clive Barker--applaud him! Your kid chose a role model well, and shows fortitude and honesty at an early age. Good gay people, just like good straight people, have been, and will always be challenged to think around the conventional and traditional to survive and make the world better.
It is elating and empowering that there are many people who are now more accepting of differences, and are celebrating the gay spectrum’s contributions to all parts of culture. It’s also great that gay people are acknowledging their identities, and not just at gay-friendly and gay-frequented districts. But it doesn’t end there. Let’s continue to speak against the bitter, dinosaur gay-bashers. Let’s use our words and actions to rescue, heal, and enlighten others before damaging words lead, once again, to sticks, stones, and worse.
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