Whole to Your Hole

Love isn't about finding your other half. We already are whole persons by ourselves. We just have to find someone whom we can share ourselves with. It is a need that reaches its peak in the form of loneliness.

It's ironic how harder it is to find love as we get lonelier and lonelier. We need to think and believe that we are complete persons who are deserving of affection for us to receive it. We must not show a hint of despair or anxiety because that will turn other people off. We must show a face that exudes a confidence and wholeness for us to be received by confident and whole persons.

The moment when we need tenderness the most, when we give in to anxiety as it drains us like a weed that grows bigger and bigger and robs us of our energy and strength, the harder it is for us to find love or tenderness. So much so that some of us have to settle with the closest thing to love that we can find.

Some have to settle with something that comprises only of illusions and get fooled by someone who treats people like games, priding himself with his collection of broken hearts.Some have to settle with being a "panakip-butas" or void-filler to someone who has just severed his tie with his loved one.Some have to settle with being objects of the flesh, trying to squeeze any semblance of real affection out of passion that has a 24-hour limit and expires soon after.

It seems that the hungrier we get, the more willing we are to settle with scraps or leftovers, and even garbage that come from other people's table.

Of course, this only applies when we give in to despair and anxiety; when we lose our confidence and allow ourselves to be dependent upon other people. It applies when we refuse to work for something real, no matter how hard it is to do so.

I've come to discover that no one likes a beggar, regardless of the circumstances that person is in. No one likes to be bothered by someone who is constantly trying to invoke your pity for them to receive something for free. No one likes to be blackmailed emotionally for them to give something they've worked hard for. No one likes to be with a person who has given up on taking care of himself, who has allowed the dirt of life to cling to his body and personhood, and who has given up on life itself.

No one likes a person who is broken.

The only thing we can truly give to those kinds of people is pity, never love. And pity never does anyone any good.

How do you know?

When you love and feel happy, you don't have to look at a mirror to know that you're smiling. The world can already see and feel the glow emanating from your face.

When you feel pity for a person or even for yourself, look in the mirror and tell me what you see.

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